As you may have noticed, the activity level of playbald.com is slightly down these last couple of days. I think I am going to try to explain why I am not blogging.
The main issue here is that I don't play much poker anymore. When I played, I would eventually run into a winning streak, and I would have to brag about it somewhere. The blog usually came up. So not playing is basically the one reason the well has run so dry. The fact is, I don't much like the total sum of being a poker player. There are so many other things that I enjoy more. Spearfishing for example. Playing PS3. Working a day job, I shit you not. Making babies. One of those showing up any day now.
Obviously, there are some parts of being a pro poker player that are very attractive: Winning stunning amounts of money is as fun and exciting as any activity can be. Not because of the money itself, but because of the opportunities and freedom than come right along. Talking and thinking about how you will use all your money is also fun of course. And finally, talking and thinking about how great you are that you can win all this money in fierce competition with others who would also like to do so, are also enjoyable activities.
Other than that, it pretty much sucks big time.
Poker is a game of exploitation. I've always enjoyed strategy games, sometimes to the point of obsession. Once the game is in front of me, I have to know how it works, and how to win. I take it personally if I can't. But professional poker is not a strategy game. It is a game of finding the weakest points of the weakest opponents and exploiting it.
Poker is a game of uncertainty. I am a fan of logic. To every action, there is a consequence, to every question there is an answer. Everytime I see something surprising happen, I think about why it happened, and I try to find the reason. In poker, there is no reason. Some times the flush draw hits. Some times it doesn't. You win a yearly salary in November, lose it in December. Kings beat aces. Amateurs beat pros. Idiots are interviewed as experts. Luck. It's chaos.
Poker is lonely. I am a socially minded person. I like friendly competition. I like to hang out with friends. The best way to win money in poker is to sit by yourself in front of your computer. The best part of your day is when you break someone, and he calls you a retard and expresses his desire that you die painfully. For the last 4 years I've had to deal with frustrating loses alone on a regular basis.
So why is this just the next to last post, and not in fact, the last? I don't know exactly. Maybe it's a dream of going back to the happy days of big money flowing in. I really enjoyed all that milk and honey. The fact is I just can't pull the plug on this chapter of my life just yet.
After all, the next winning streak is always just around the corner...